My Religion, My country and my being a part of none

What defines an individual? Is it the family, the profession, the religion, the status, the class, sexual orientation……….. or is it something that transcends above all the above and categorizes individuals purely on the basis of their being good , bad, kind, jealous,
Tolerant, intelligent and other human qualities. I do not know but what I do is that the second is indeed a difficult choice, in spite of being the clear favorite. Is it that we are born to classify people, match them to characters and put them in boxes labeled , blue, green or yellow………..or is it that the grouping makes life easy….
Why I chose to right today about something so vague is probably the reaction to what I am been hearing too much lately. All over the blog world people are writing about their religious and idealistic preferences. They justify why they are right and the other factions are wrong. They write to justify and counter arguments about their own faith system and ideals. On the whole the country and the world react to all the genocide, and the terrorism, and the crimes and the perversions by doing everything in the book but owning it. In my country Muslims and Christians blame the Hindus for dishing out unfair treatment, Hindus go on a rage and burn churches and kill people in order to prove their prowess. The glitterati covers their face out of shame at such violent behaviors, and the educated class voices out opinions at the rate of a super fast mail, during evening soirées and office lunches. You might ask, where I stand? I stand in the middle of all this and fail to link a single person to the truth. Not that I am a socialist or have a degree in public psychology. But I am a voter, and a tax payer, an Indian and a Hindu, and my voice is numbed forever because I support none. I am not a minority and do not understand their pangs, to my understanding I have known them as friends and neighbors and family throughout my life and so when they speak of differential treatment or stress on being as much Indian as any of the Hindus I feel that they are just stating the obvious. I do have nothing to do with the one who burns the churches and rapes a nun, and still deny feeling guilty about my religion, because of some sick group which does such abominable things.
I don’t feel that they represent the religion that I believe in but still in papers and in the voter card I am grouped along with them. I bow to my idols and fix a peg using the same two hands. I kiss my partner and eat the Prasad with the same mouth without any washing in between, and don’t feel any less Hindu.
Similarly I love all the so called meaningless cinema my country commercially produces with the same passion as I dig Felini or Polanski; love the mindless item nos no less than the ghazal, dadra or thumri.I love crying when Tulsi leaves home with the same intensity as when Aurelius dies in the “Gladiator”. My love for paanipuri equals my love for Au Gratin and I would love to see the North East as much as I would enjoy the Euro – Rail. I feel my being an Indian does not restrict me one bit to love or appreciate anything else in the world.

But I am still cornered. I am the bad, passive, spineless Hindu who has sold her soul to the west and my non-conformism is equal to blasphemy (in a lighter sense off course). I am also not much of an Indian too as I have not stuck to the culture of my nation and let my mindscape be invaded with flavors from around the world which I could not resist. Neither am I the revolutionary, because I can not sell this middle path I have been consorting because of the lack of contact, influence and money. So where does that leave me. It leaves me with one religion, the religion called tolerance which I practice with great dedication in everything I do. I tolerate my religion being maligned everyday and yet do not go and pick up a gun and kill a few. I tolerate hate and despise of the minorities and yet do not pick up a jhanda and give it back to them. I also tolerate being called a licker of the West by my own countrymen for my appreciation of various cultures and art forms around the world and for all you know tomorrow I would be sure to be called a “Niger” or a “Black Man” in some by lane of the so called west.

This was not meant to be a crib, it was meant to be a journey into self definition and a good one at it. I being no one and nobody I atleast enjoy one huge advantage. I don’t need to bend to any kind of conformism and live and life of constant justification in order to remain a part of a group. Till then, I am happy with my Hindutva which has given me a heart to love, a soul to bear pain and a head to think and act. I am as much an Indian with my capacity to deal with love and appreciate multitude, my love for food and movie star and the shiver down my spine every time I see the fluttering tricolor. Let their be peace with the rest that I missed.

My Religion...my questions!!

Where does a man stop another?
Where does stop playing the fool ……….
When does number define the rule
When does religion become stronger than the mother……..

Why does “Way of life” start killing others…….
Why does tolerance become a one sided word……….
How does genocide become the only playing card?
How does blind faith become our fathers?

When do you stand up for the right………
When do you know it is the time to fight……..

What do you do if none holds the light…..
What do you do when you have lost all your might??